Rather Than

When David returned home to bless his household, Michal, daughter of Saul came out to meet him and said, “How the king of Israel has distinguished himself today, going around half-naked in full view of the slave girls of his servants as any vulgar fellow would!” David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me rather than your father or anyone from his house when he appointed me ruler over the Lord’s people Israel—I will celebrate before the Lord. ~ 2 Samuel 6:20-21

He was being a bit sarcastic here.  David had every right to celebrate, but to one of his wives, Michal, he was going a bit over the top.  Michal may not have had the best relationship with her dad, King Saul, but she didn’t exactly have a stellar marriage either.  She was stuck between a rock and a hard spot; after all, she did fall in love with the person her dad was trying to kill – so David wins, but does he have to gloat about being the chosen king also?  It was another blow to the house Michal grew up in.  Regarding her family, and certainly her dad, wasn’t this going to put a bigger target on David’s back?  This story intrigues me because we don’t see a lot of marital spats in the bible, but while doing a bible study years ago I came across this story and it stuck with me as a lesson in communication and grace.  Because Michal came at David for being over the top, she ended up being shunned by him and they never had relations as a married couple again.  No marriage runs its course without having highs and lows, and disagreements, but we need to always assume our spouses intentions are good until proven otherwise.  Now listen to me!  I am not giving excuses for abuse of any kind – physical, emotional, or verbal, and I am not excusing adultery.  God is saddened by all of that and doesn’t ask anyone to subject themselves to abuse and stay in that relationship.  Sometimes, contrary to how you may have been raised, divorce IS the only way out of certain situations.  However, outside of abuse and as much as it is possible with you, good, solid biblical counseling should be our first line of defense before throwing in the towel to our commitment and covenant not only to our spouse, but to God.  Let me be the first to say that if you are being physically abused – GET OUT!  However, in this story, David was celebrating and dancing in order to give glory to God for choosing him as king over Saul.  He was expressing his faith and devotion to God, and not trying to throw anything in Michal’s face.  Oh if only she would have approached him humbly instead of angrily and if only he had tried to see why she felt the way she did; things may have been better for their marriage.  How often do we throw daggers at our spouse when we think they have done us wrong without understanding their heart, or intention?  May we all learn to have a little more grace, communication and humility when dealing not only in our marriages, but in our relationships all together. ~ Amen