Farmer Brown

My children are resting watching The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl while Cody and I are on the computers. My house really needs a little work; I should be taking down Christmas and hanging the rest of the pictures I want to take up permanant residence on the walls. Cody is working and trying to drum up so more business as this restaurant adventure we are going on is actually costing twice as much as we had been quoted before the move. Oh well; I do know that as soon as we get the restaurant up and running that he will be glad he persevered in this endeavor. Samuel asked me today, "When do I go back to school?" When I told him he goes back Monday, he got all excited...so that makes me feel good that he has adjusted to that new setting well and likes it. Today he built a beautiful snowman in the middle of the city park for everyone to see; although we didn't have the button, coal, or carrot to finish off the face and coat. Isaac has been slightly sad after losing his little plastic Farmer Brown in the snow yesterday ice fishing. We tried to go back and retrieve it today, but to no avail and so hopefully Walmart will have some sort of plastic farmer that slightly resembles the old one, and they wonder why I don't let them take things everywhere with them. Go figure. ~

Fresh Breath

Can you believe that I almost forgot what today, more like tonight is? I was just going along with my daily chores when my husband came in with a bottle of wine and the statement, "We may want some of this for tonight." For a brief moment I thought to myself tonight? which was shortly replaced with, oh yeah! 2009! WHAT! 2009! My favorite day is tomorrow! You get a clean slate, a new year, a blank piece of paper, a fresh sheet of snow, a renewing, a refreshing, a "reset" button, a chance to redeem yourself, a chance to become who you wanted to in the previous year, new adventures, and if you're like me this year, a new place to call home with joy and anticipation as to what that holds. I LOVE JANUARY 1st! But let me first say, "God, I'm ready to see what you have in store for me and I am thankful for everything you did last year! Thanks again!" I wake up with an overwhelming sense of gratitude for giving me, my family and my friends another year and I let go of the past. THAT'S IT! That's why I like a new year so much! While typing this it has become clear to me that why I love January 1st is because I can shut the door on all the past mistakes again and I can move forward with new vigor. I like it because when I wake up on the first day of the new year, I feel as though I've walked through an open door where glorious colors and gardens with a gentle breeze invite me in and where I can declutter and dejunk myself. It's like taking in a deep, fresh breath of life. Whether that makes any sense to anyone else but me I'm not sure, but I see that vision even now as I'm writing. I only have five more hours before I embark on a new journey on a new road and I can't wait; it's one part letting go and 90% anticipation that I thrive on. It's extrordinarily exciting, don't you think?!~

Great Surprise

Christmas has come and gone at our new home; a month ago I couldn't even picture where I was going to put my Christmas tree and now it's almost time to take it down. The tree ended up standing stoic and proud in our dining room just close enough to the window to reflect the lights. This morning I felt a bit of nostalgia while I was finishing up the daily chores that I used to accomplish in our old home; it's a weird feeling. I'm not even sure it was nostalgia as much as it was, "I would never have guessed where I'd be a year ago," or "Look where we're at....didn't see this coming," or "It's not near as bad as I made myself believe this extraordinary move to be." This is the first Christmas in a long time that I've opened up the blinds to the sliding glass door and been in awe of the snow crystals gleaming and glistening under the clear bright, bright, brighter blue than the city will ever see, sky. We were also blessed with a Christmas surprise of Chelsea and Danielle making there way up here on the 26th to give their father the gift he really wanted and to make him cry, of course. That's all he really wanted for Christmas and while we have enjoyed being back with friends and family, we have also missed friends and family this Christmas...all my husband wanted was to be with his girls even though we knew it probably wouldn't happen this year...so what a great gift to him from his beautiful daughters. The best gift they could have given him. So while another Christmas is gone, I'd like to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year's from our new corner of the world to yours with many blessings to come. ~

New Place

Cody is upstairs watching the Broncos game, the kids are watching The Polar Express for their rest time movie and I just finished putting groceries away. Whew! Sunday mornings were busy down in Denver, but with the added 25-30 minute trip to church one way and the crowds we fight to grocery shop afterwards, I am exhausted. When we got home Samuel said, "I'm tired." AMEN to that! Cody has requested my "football dip" for half time and so that will be part of our newly implemented "left over" dinner menu for tonight. I don't know about you, but I am tired of throwing away perfectly good food every week and there is really no good reason for it...so whether they like it or not, "left over" night starts tonight. Actually, we'll see how long this lasts, they may be making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches before to long as I think I'm the only one in this house who truly likes left overs. Samuel has made this move, adjustment, and transition very well; it's amazing that I was really concerned about him with school and all. He has made a handful of new friends and has even had one over to play already; plus there already is a girl in his class by the name of Morgan who just can't stop talking about "the new boy, Sam", or so her mother tells us...here we go. It's Isaac, who so desperately wanted to move up here months before we did, that is having a little trouble. He just can't seem to figure out where all his friends from Denver went...so we are on a mission to make new ones. He says, "I like living here, but I don't have any playmates" and who can blame him, after all he always had two little girls at his heels and I think he's kind of lost without them, but we have a play date scheduled for next week with one of my friends and her 3 year old son...so I think that will help. Plus I've already plugged us into a MOPS group and a bible study here...so as soon as they both start back up after Christmas, I think he will be just fine; his same schedule, just a new place. ~

Made It

AHHHHHHHHH...I'm actually sitting down, sipping a cup of tea, watching my Christmas tree lights flicker and enjoying the quiet - all in my new home. YES! We made it! More like, YES I MADE IT! I hate change, as anyone who knows me, or has read my blog knows...so most of my anxiety is subsided now that we are here and unpacked enough to be comfortable. We are even in the routine of things here and that helps adjust my brain tremendously; now my next mission is to find a few friends for my four year old to play with; he needs some playmates. I remember thinking around Thanksgiving that if I lived through the next three weeks I could live through anything and I remember thinking, "keep your eyes on December 10th when you know you'll be moved, you will make it." I even remember thinking, "I'm never going to get my tree up and Christmas is going to be in the mountains, you've got to be kidding me. Are we really doing this?" Now here we are and guess what? I do have my tree up and it's beautiful and we are going to have Christmas in the mountains and we are going to be surrounded by so much family that it is going to be GRAND! This will be the first Christmas that my sister's family and mine are together since we had kids and the cousins are looking forward to it sooooo much that it makes my heart all warm inside. ~

"Good Byes"

We have a ton going on today and I wish I had the nerve to tell people that I'm sorry, but I just can't fit you into the calendar between now and Monday; we need to finish getting this house packed! I love the fact that people want to meet with us and say good-bye, but it's starting to stress me out; it's not like they want to help me pack while they say good-bye...so my last two days have been filled with "good-byes" and little packing and I'm starting to freak that we will not be ready by Monday. Cody is on his way to Fort Collins for an appointment with one last client who feels the need to meet before we go and I was planning on doing some more packing, but instead we have people on their way over and I can't handle it! I needed this time to finish the upstairs and start, START on my bedroom; oh well, it may be a late night tomorrow night, but that's just the way it goes. Samuel and Isaac are being good about getting rid of things and they are being good about packing up their toys too. We made sure they packed two small bags of toys that they would like to have with them while the rest are in transition and so may not see until Tuesday; Samuel understands, but I'm not sure Isaac does. He keeps asking me, "When are we going to see our toys again?" and when I try to explain to him that they are all moving to the mountains with us, he gives me a strange look. Well, I guess I'd better quit blogging, more like venting today, and get on with the packing. ~

Checked Out

I am tired of packing; I'm exhausted! I want to write out Christmas cards and can't; I want to do something other than packing, but I really can't. With Cody going to get the truck on Sunday and us loading it up that same day, I really need to make sure everything is ready....can't wait until Monday when we are on the road and I know that at least half the "fun" of moving is over. Cody is out with Clint having a beverage, beer no doubt, and getting in his last goodbye with his younger, but old friend. Today Cody and Isaac went and had lunch with Chelsea and Danielle; Isaac came back smelling of his older sisters' perfumes and so I know he relished in a few nice, tight, bear hugs before coming home. Samuel checked out of school today and while I expected him to come home a little sad, I was glad to see that he made it home without a tear and in good spirits. Everyday I have been praying that God would help the boys (particularly Samuel) make this move, transition and adjustment well as his friends and teachers have had a hard time of it; more than I thought they would I have to say.....so I was glad he came home okay and still excited to go. I watched Mickale and Maliya for the last time today and I have to say that it was more emotional for me at 4:00 p.m. than I would have liked it to be. I felt like I was losing my own children, after all, I have had Mickale since she was 8 weeks old and now she's 2 and even though I have only watched Maliya for a year, I was still sad - I guess I've developed an attachment to them I hadn't planned on. So now we look forward to Monday - our move day, and while I am sad about leaving so much here, I have to remember that there people on the other side of the hill excitedly awaiting our return. We're on our way! ~

Another Thanksgiving

Well, another Thanksgiving is over and I am so blessed and thankful for so much; friends, family, health, God's direction and the plentiful food we ate yesterday and everyday just to name a few. We spent this Thanksgiving with Chelsea, Quentin (Chelsea's boyfriend) and Danielle and had a wonderful time giving thanks, stuffing our faces, reminiscing and playing a little Nintendo. I wish everyday could be like Thanksgiving - just hanging out with family, eating, sleeping and not worrying about much at all. However, all great things must come to an end...so back to life today; which included my husband going up to Ft. Collins for an appointment this morning. He will be back in time to visit with his sister, who is on her way to our house, and than over to the Anderson's for another great time of fellowship and food tonight. I am packing up my kitchen and books with my friend, Majeel, who has turned up to help me and I am more than thankful for that also. I have to say that the packing is coming along nicely, or so I think; now watch, come next Monday the 8th I'll be stressing out because I still have a lot more to do than I thought I would, HA! HA! Samuel and Isaac are going through their stuffed animals and toys today to get rid of the ones they really don't play with anymore and then their rooms will be almost done. Now for the closets .............~

Good Balance

God made us all very different and unique from each other; I've always known that, but it's funny watching my husband and I pack, clean and deal with this move differently. Looking at the house as a whole is so totally overwhelming to me...so I started taking pictures down and packing one room at a time. My husband has spent the majority of his time down in the basement and the crawl space bringing everything up; which I am glad of because I don't want to pack that space - it's crammed full of junk! However, yesterday my awesome husband told me I was crazy for already taking pictures down; talk about burst my bubble. Actually I was more peeved that he would say something like that instead of "it's looking good; we're making progress". I could see his point, but I told him, "I feel like I'm making more progress and it keeps me motivated to keep going if the walls are clear." I know that doesn't really make sense, but God has made us different. I have a ton of questions and annoy the living daylights out of my husband everyday just by the sheer fact that I make him assure me at least three times a day that we will be okay and this is the right thing to do even though I myself know without a shadow of a doubt this is what we are supposed to do; I can't deny the peace I have. It's a good thing God didn't pair me up with someone just like me; I need the good balance of my husband. ~

Purging Junk

It amazes me how much junk I have; all that I once thought was so important, but now that I am trying to pack, I am finding more and more stuff that I need to get rid of. Let's be honest, if you haven't used it in over a year, it's a knick knack you can't really remember who you got it from, or you don't even like and if it's something that's broken than you probably could and should let go of it. I will probably have just as much bags and boxes that need to go to the trash, or Good Will as I will going into the U-Haul; well maybe not as many, but dang near close. Not to mention that I have baby toys, books and other items that I need to let go of; my boys are 6 and 4 and I don't foresee daycare in my future again. Cody is a chaperon on Sam's field trip to The Aquarium today and I just talked to him and he said they are having a blast. I am so fortunate to have a husband who is so involved in my kids' lives and loves being a part of their education. I have been semi packing (mostly in my brain) and I'm giving the bathrooms and kitchen floor one more good scrub down before we go. I only have to have the house "broom cleaned" according to the realtor...so that's nice, but I think I should do the best I can before we head up the hill. Now to find some more boxes. ~

Moving Back

When change comes into our lives and into our families lives, we can get a little panicky; what am I talking about - most of the time I break out in a cold sweat. I LOATH CHANGE! I CAN'T STAND IT! I WANT EVERYTHING TO JUST STAY THE SAME! However, change is coming, change is inevitable and I once heard that if you are not experiencing some kind of change at all times than you are stagnant and can't grow. I believe that....but I still don't like it. Our change is now. After being down in the Broomfield area for a little over seven years we are moving back to the mountains where we were raised and where our families are. When my husband started talking about the possibility of doing this last year I was completely against it with every fiber of my being; the thought actually made my stomach turn and me thinking, "I'm going to be sick!" The funny thing about change is even our emotions can turn from "sick" to "exciting" when given to God. I have been praying since February that if a change was coming for our family that he would start preparing me. He knows He made me the way He did and He heard my prayer and answered it; almost 365 days later to the exact time (last fall was our first thought of moving back). I am thrilled to be going home and have complete peace about it. I can't deny that. I even sat in a chair and tried to worry about this decision and could not; all the pieces have been taken care of. Another lesson for me: Ask and you will not only receive, but you will see how the mighty hands of God have prepared the way for you if you are patient in the waiting of His timing. I don't imagine that everything will be easy up in the mountains; we are still imperfect human beings, but I know a God who hears my cries no matter where I am and answers them FAITHFULLY; maybe not the way we always want, but He does answer. "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11 - 13 is one of my favorite passages of scripture for a reason and I can gladly say AMEN to it! ~