So Righteous

So I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man. ~ Acts 24:16

The moral fiber of this country has been tested by immoral integrity, greed and unclear consciences and questionable character. I think of the man who just stole millions of dollars through his Ponzi scam; he didn't care who he hurt for what he wanted. What baffles me is why his conscience let him do such a thing? Didn't he care that he was hurting these people, not helping them? Do we not care for each other anymore? Who is out there that genuinely wants to help people? The characteristic of a clear conscience before God and man to do what is right, pure, noble, and of Christ like is hard to find and I dare say even among us so called Christians. You say, "I have that." What I find more and more often for us Christians is that we have that in the confines of what we have set up as our worldly rights while our spiritual heritage is often tossed to the side. We are still very righteous and if the truth be known, many of us like to say we have the conscience of God, but when given the opportunity to show that powerful trait we fail. The conscience of God means to be fully in him and as much like him as possible. The Bible says that if a friend asks for the shirt off your back, give him his cloak also, but let's be real my friends, most of us give him our dirty shirt at best (and grudgingly) let alone give him our jacket! We are a prideful Christian nation. We talk out of both sides of our mouths. We say, "Let us pray for you" and "Call us if you need anything so that we can help" when most of the time what we really mean is, "I don't really want to know, I really don't want to help and I will pray for you should I think about it. I have to much of my own life to deal with." I am saddened by the pride and the righteousness with which we deal no only to believers, the fakeness of it all, but I am doubly saddened that we would act such a way to nonbelievers. My prayer is that I can find good Christian friends who are willing to fight the good fight of striping pride and standing up for a Godly conscience. To find good friends that have the conscience of God to help each other no matter what the cost to me. Shame on us for being so righteous. ~

Rest In

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. John 14:27

This particular verse struck me this morning during my quiet time and I think it's more than pertinent to today given our economy. God is the God of peace and he is not of this world...so why do we always expect him to meet us on our worldy terms? No matter what the economy is going through, we are not to let our hearts be troubled and we are not to be fearful. As believers our economy is not this world's anyway, it's our eternal economy that really matters. Don't get me wrong, yes, we need money, but if we do what God is calling us to do and persevere, we will be okay. I know that he has never, and I repeat for my own remembrance, NEVER failed me and my family even when I thought there were times when he has. He is faithful and good all the time. I personally need to remember that my Lord is always with me and that even though I don't understand sometimes, I need to trust him and know that he is still holding me. To live "in" him is what I strive for.

Anyway, Cody is working and on the phone, like always (sometimes I want to throw that thing away) drumming up some business. He has a few irons in the fire that he needs to get ready for that I am praying will go well; part of the peace I need to learn to rest in. ~

Powerful Goodness

God has been good! I am so thankful that He is good to me even when I have doubts; in fact, that's usually when He shows up more real to me. Time and time again when I have been down I know in my heart of hearts that if I hang on and persevere doing the things I know he has told me to do, even if they don't make sense, he pulls me out and shows his powerful goodness. Such evidence has happened to me yet again and I am thrilled that perseverance and faithfulness in the one true God definitely pays off. Through this process I am learning to trust and depend more solely on God and I believe that's where he wants us all to be. He is always working ~ ALWAYS ~ for my good and behind the scenes even when it looks foggy to me.

Cody received a journal from Chelsea a couple of years ago for his birthday that chronicles his life, his thoughts and his trials for his children...so he's working on that right now. He says, "I don't know how you write. I'm getting a cramp in my hand and I've only written two pages." hehe. The boys are watching E.T. for their rest time movie, even though I can hear them in there goofing of a little too. As long as they rest a little as we had a great day with friends yesterday with little down time...so extra rest is in order. ~

These Days

Nothing like thinking about getting back into work after being home with the kids for almost 7 years. If I'm honest with myself I am a little nervous, but excited about being out in the work force again, even substituting sound like a good time to me. Cody is in Steamboat on a few appointments, but will be back in time to pick up Samuel from the bus stop. He is feeling very motivated to get the ball rolling on the restaurant and can't wait to get it up and running. I am excited for him; I haven't seen this sparkle in his eyes in a long time; he finally feels like he's doing something that God wants him to do and that's huge. For a year and a half he has wanted to do what is now just a few months/weeks away and kudos to him for finally having the courage to say "yes" to his heart even if it does seem hard; not many people would go for it. Nothing like a leap of faith. Samuel is loving school and yesterday Isaac and I had lunch with him as we were right next door at the preschool all day. Samuel and Isaac both went to play volleyball with their dad last night at the high school and came back exhausted; I got a night to myself. Isaac is having his rest time and I can hear the movie "Scooby Doo and the Cyber Chase" running as he plays with toys on the couch. He is enjoying the days he gets to go with me when I substitute at the preschool; he is meeting lots of new friends now and seems to be much more at home these days. ~

Peaceful Morning

There is something a little sweet and somewhat naughty about not getting dressed and ready for the day until 10:00 a.m. Most days I am up and ready for the day no later than 8, 8:30, but this morning we had a leisurely and restful start to the day with a fabulous, hearty family breakfast; nothing short of peaceful. Cody is now down at the restaurant meeting with the food salesman from Sysco and then he's off to his second funeral since we've moved home. Let's face it, his classmates' parents and my own in-laws are getting along in years; which only stands to reason that there are more funerals that he needs to attend and the ever present reality that moving here in part to be closer to his parents was an opportunity we're glad we didn't pass up. You just don't know what the future holds. As for me, I don't have any real plans for the day outside of playing with my children and maybe taking them ice skating. Their Uncle Clyde is thinking of going ice fishing this afternoon and taking his nephews with; hot dog if that happens! I'll get some time alone to watch MY recorded shows and get the bathrooms cleaned. Samuel is trying to convince his little brother to go outside with him, but Isaac would much rather stay in and make martians with his new alien maker. Samuel would stay outside all day long; he has stayed out long enough that his socks were actually dripping with water soaked as they were through his boots, but he just didn't care. He loves it! ~

One another

Be kind and compassionate to one another. Ephesians 4:32. This has whole new meaning to me this year as I reflect on my goals for this group of 365 days we call 2009. This needs to be my theme verse and not just to anyone and everyone, but to my one and only man. God is working with me on being a more encouraging wife and He is teaching me that part of that is to keep my mouth shut and don't say anything to my husband that isn't kind, supportive, or won't leave him feeling better. This is so much out of my comfort zone; not with everything, but with a lot as I have no problem letting things fly and I am learning that this is not meant as "constructive criticism", but rather I am just being plain mean sometimes. I need to stop that IMMEDIATELY!

Cody is helping the boys put their model plane (Samuel) and train (Isaac) together that they received for Christmas from their Uncle Clyde and Aunt Heidi. Actually, they are 3D wooden puzzles that you can put together that the boys have started to collect and display in their rooms. We had a great day sledding with some friends on their property outside of town; a sledding party of the sorts with a number of different families. The conditions and hill were fabulous! The hill is long enough that at the end you are pulled back up on a snowmobile. Five hours of sun and fun I tell ya! And I mean "wear you out so you can sleep better" type of fun. Good times! Thanks Geigers! ~

Ridiculous Egotism

Forever, O Lord, thy word is settled in heaven. Psalm 119:89. If I believe the Word is true and is not in err, than I should be worry free at all times, right? This is an area of my spiritual walk that I continue to work on, to improve, that I pray on daily for strength and increase - my trust. As humans I think we believe we are in control and that nothing will be done, or at least done right and unto our standards if it's not done our way; the attitude of "if it's going to be, it's up to me." How wrong and utterly ridiculous we must sound to God; he must laugh at us and shake his head profusely at our egotism.

Cody is on his way to pick up Sam from the bus stop and I expect that he'll also be bringing Sam's little friend, Lorren too. They have been connected at the hip since we moved up here; Sam didn't even know he had a little buddy waiting for him, but Lorren had been waiting for Sam to get here since the first of December and they've been best of buds every since. I had to finally set up some boundaries; he can come over here once a week after school and you can go over there once a week after school, don't ask for any more you little turkeys. ~

Complaint Free

Ahhhh, what a joy to be a part of a MOPS group and actually just partake in the group worrying about the mornings activities. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVED being on steering and would do it again (if the time is right), but today I received as a MOPS mom instead of a MOPS mom/steering team member and I haven't done that in 5 years; I liked it. Cody is working on his computer at his desk, I'm writing you and the boys are enjoying some brotherly love time with some video games. Cody and his brother shoveled off the roof of the restaurant and I'm glad I didn't know they were going to do that (I was at MOPS) otherwise I'm sure I would have flipped out about that. That is just to dangerous a job, even though I know it needs to be done, I don't like it; we've lost friends that way if you catch my drift. Thanks to our speaker at MOPS today I am sporting a new little purple rubber bracelet that is supposed to remind me not to complain. He talked about the organization A Complaint Free World.org and taught us new ways to better say things to our friends, co-workers and especially spouses so that it doesn't sound like we are complaining. The whole premises with the bracelet is that if we catch ourselves complaining we are supposed to switch hands with the bracelet and than after 21 days of not complaining it's supposed to create a new habit of not complaining. Let's see if that works....hehe. ~

First Day

Every child is unique; we all know this, but I believe there is no better medium for this fact to flourish in than the classroom. With 25 different attitudes and personalities making up a classroom you get to see every type of "unique" that there is. Parenthood definitely keeps you on your toes, but I think it's safe to say that teaching also keeps you on your toes. The differences in each grade, or the uniqueness of each stage of a child's development is also evident in the classroom. The kindergarten, first, second and even third graders were quick to surprise me with their obedience. The fourth, and for sure the fifth graders were quick to show my their, well, let's say "wit" and sometimes despondency when asked to do something. I was cool with the little guys and more like a nuisance they wanted to get rid of with the older ones; too bad for them it didn't work. Anyway, Cody went down to the post office to get the mail, than to go check on the restaurant and than off to pick up Sam; he should be home in all of about 20 minutes doing all those chores...so different from the city. Sam was disappointed that the half day that I worked today did not include his class, but maybe next time. ~

God's Creation

Just finished refreshing my house plants with much needed water; which strikes me ironic as the vegetation outside is covered in hidden, white, cold water. My house is finally put together and I am able to get back to the daily routines of now keeping it clean, cooking and playing with my children without the need to unpack more boxes, or hang more pictures. Okay...so let's be honest, those of you who really know me know that I'm really done because my self imposed deadline has come and passed, but I really don't need to unpack anymore stuff. Whatever is left in the garage could go to the thrift store here, most of it anyway, there are somethings I won't let go of yet. Cody is down at the restaurant plowing yet more snow and waiting for Ferrell Gas to get there with the propane tank. He is so excited about getting some heat into that place; maybe than he can take off some layers while he's trying to work even inside; it's freezing in there! I am totally amazed and overwhelmed by the beauty I live in now; I must have taken this for granted before. If you were here with me right now you would see mountains covered in so much snow that it looks like our plowed streets are made of powdered sugar icing and the mounds of snow that buffer our streets (made by the snow plows) look like clumps of yummy marshmallow filling. The sky is clear blue, and I mean CLEAR blue, not a hint of pollution with the sun beating down making parts of the snow crystal like, gleaming diamond shards out there waiting to be picked. The contrast of the brilliant blue and the shinny white is gorgeous. I LOVE IT! HALLELUJAH! This is God's creation and I am in awe! ~

New Goal

One of my New Year's Goals (Thanks, Lisa) for this year is that I would trust God first in every situation of my life. Yes, I do this most of the time, but let's be honest - most Christians do this with 75% of our lives and hang on to the other 25%. I want to surrender and trust with it all! I really want to live "in" Jesus and I really want to live knowing that I am in his hands and everything (including my body) truly does belong to Him....so why do I worry and why stress out? The thing is that most of the time I am very fearful of things being taken away from my family, or from me, but if that was to ever really happen than I need to COMPLETELY SURRENDER to the fact that Christ owned whatever it was that was taken away anyway. Enough about that ~ Cody is upstairs watching the football game (Chargers vs. Steelers) and really wants the Steelers to win. He has a disdain for the Chargers that I've never really seen before and I could care less if it's not the Broncos. Samuel and Isaac are getting along better today and have actually been able to play Lego's Star Wars on the Nintendo Gamecube without arguing. Some days they are so loving to each other and then some days they can't stand each other; the thing is I'm spoiled with more days of them loving each other than not so it really gets to me when they aren't getting along - that's probably with every parent though...so I'll just shut up now. ~

Nit Picking

Anyone else out there dealing with sibling rivalry? Oh please...I know there is someone; maybe it's not even rivalry as much as the constant nit picking and bothering of each other. If one is playing on the couch, the other one decides that's the time they want to lay on the couch; the WHOLE couch, not just a little corner - a fight occurs. If one wants to play with Lego's and try to build a nice tower, the other decides it's time to see how the tower works as a football - a fight occurs along with a swat and Lego's all over. If one wants to watch Imagination Movers than the other one wants to watch The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. You get the idea, UG! Anyway, my husband is down at the restaurant moving snow in preparation of the propane tank being set on Monday. I just finished another sink full of dishes and am now trying to decide which bathroom to tackle first and which pictures I want to finish hanging and which pictures are going to storage. I didn't realize how many pictures I have and there is no need for all of them to be up nor is there enough room. This afternoon I will have some free time while my three boys go play with the backhoe my husband is borrowing to move snow; such fun stuff for boys of all ages when there is a big machine involved - goodness. ~

Farmer Brown

My children are resting watching The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl while Cody and I are on the computers. My house really needs a little work; I should be taking down Christmas and hanging the rest of the pictures I want to take up permanant residence on the walls. Cody is working and trying to drum up so more business as this restaurant adventure we are going on is actually costing twice as much as we had been quoted before the move. Oh well; I do know that as soon as we get the restaurant up and running that he will be glad he persevered in this endeavor. Samuel asked me today, "When do I go back to school?" When I told him he goes back Monday, he got all excited...so that makes me feel good that he has adjusted to that new setting well and likes it. Today he built a beautiful snowman in the middle of the city park for everyone to see; although we didn't have the button, coal, or carrot to finish off the face and coat. Isaac has been slightly sad after losing his little plastic Farmer Brown in the snow yesterday ice fishing. We tried to go back and retrieve it today, but to no avail and so hopefully Walmart will have some sort of plastic farmer that slightly resembles the old one, and they wonder why I don't let them take things everywhere with them. Go figure. ~