I'm Glorious

Lord, you have seen what is in my heart. You know all about me. ~ Psalm 139:1

There are days when I wish I was someone completely different than I am; days when I feel like nobody understands me. There are even days when I can't stand being in my own skin, do you ever feel like that? Days when you don't understand why God made you the way he did and so you just throw up your hands and say WHATEVER! One of my biggest flaws, if not the biggest in my eyes, is my inability to accept change; it's not that I can't change, it's just that I despise change and fight it tooth and nail. I don't know why God made me the way he did in that area; I do not like things being shaken up and so moving back to the mountains in December, even though this is home, was tremendously hard for me. Sometimes I feel like my heart and my emotional well being is one big mess. I have never really struggled with my outward appearance, I have been fairly comfortable with it, but I have often struggled with who I am inside and who I think I should be. Outward beauty and vanity have always taken a backseat compared to how I rank myself emotionally, mentally and spiritually. However, God knows me, he knows my heart and everything about me, HE made me this way and I need to learn to accept myself emotionally and mentally for who He made me to be. I am glorious in his sight. The Lord sees my heart and he knows when it needs a little cleansing and he knows when that life giving organ is okay....not just physically, but most importantly, spiritually. Here is what I need to remember: I am beautifully and wonderfully made outside and INSIDE no matter what I, or anyone else thinks. God knows and understands me and I can rest in that. ~