Upside Down

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~ Ephesians 5:33

For the last couple of weeks I have had numerous conversations with several different friends on how in much of this society we have conditionalized (if that's a word) love. Often times people will do something for someone in an attempt to hold that in their minds as something they are owed back. For example, I may watch your children for a few hours and than store that in my brain so that when I need you to do something for me I can recall to YOUR memory how I helped you out with my children and then almost guilt you into doing something for me (God forgive me if I've ever done this). Shame on us! As if that's not bad enough, what's more intoxicatingly sick is that husbands and wives have used this same technique to get what they want from each other. I have heard something like this, "Well, I watched the kids for a few hours while you went to lunch with some friends...why can't you mow the lawn for me?" What happened to doing something for someone out of genuine love and kindness instead of expecting something back? LOVE IS NOT MEANT TO BE CONDITIONAL! I know that seems like a petty example, but let me tell you that all the devil needs is a foothold, a crack in the door and if we don't see it for what it is, he will have that door swung wide open and reeking havoc. Husbands, you are to love us as you love yourself; it's a tall order I know, but the next time you talk to your wife, ask yourself if you would want to be talked to in that same manner. Wives, I know you don't like it, but every family needs a leader and God as assigned that responsibility to your husband. I DON'T LIKE IT! Please hear me, I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER SOMETIMES! However, I need to give respect were respect is to be given, especially when it's been given by God. My father once told me, "You have to do what your husband thinks is best for your family. It's been established by God to work that way. And if Cody is wrong in what he wants your family to do, God will deal with him. But you have done your job by respecting your husband's leadership and so your hands are clean. What's better than that?" I don't think he even remembers telling me that, but I will never forget that because it has helped me give up the control when I think I deserve it. There is freedom in submitting and respecting your husband. No, I don't believe that you should withhold your opinion; believe me, I give mine whether my husband wants it or not, but the decision is ultimately his. And if you are in a position of abuse from a warped husband who thinks that is what "submitting" means than you are in a terrible relationship and I am the first to tell you GET OUT! However, Cody and I have argued many times over what we should and shouldn't do when it comes to big family decisions and I have to say that God, nor my husband has ever steered us off into the ditch with permanent damage. Now........the last piece of the puzzle is that you must respect your husband in front of your children. Let me just tell you that you are tearing down YOURself down if you think shreading your children's father in front of them is okay. Those children will one day remember that and hold you responsible for the feelings they have, good, or bad against the other parent. It will bite you in the butt....make no mistake...it will eventually...so stop! Let's love and respect our spouses unconditionally and turn this world upside down! ~